Again with the answering questions, someone asked the other day why I was so fascinated with sphinxes... so I included my answer. It told me a lot more about myself than I expected.

I have always been fascinated with mythology of all types. Gryphons and sphinxes and anything equine were always on top. I was always the little girl that loved horses, then I read my first Fantasy book (The Black Gryphon) and they took priority, and I still really adore them, but I was always fascinated by the mystery surrounding sphinxes. The intelligence and silence, and the elegance that I pictured in them. I have also always had a fascination with masks. Because I love how many variations there are, how every culture seems to use them in some way or another. The stylization of the face and what it shows or hides about someone. I think part of my fascination with masks is because it is interesting to me how people choose to mask their life. As much as I am a very straight-forward and honest person, we all have these masks that we wear or hide behind.

The sphinxes... well I love cat forms (though am not really a cat person) but one day I was doodling these little cat/sphinx forms and trying to figure out why nothing looked right, and I think that having the face on the sphinx gives away too much. In my mind they are impassive, showing the querent nothing but what they want to see. It was only the other week that I realized that the masks really do only show what we want to see. My sphinxes have never been NICE. They are wild, and yet have a set of rules that bind them. They are always silent unless they are asking a question. Their mouth is never open and they never smile. Even when asking the question the mouth does not appear to open. Unless the riddler gets the answer wrong, and then the mask that our mind makes of their face breaks, the perception filter (to steal from Doctor Who) can't stand it when they smile because suddenly we see what they really are. You see the teeth behind the mask and the purpose. And you realize that they had never lied. They had warned you before they asked the question of the consequences, and now you are presented with them. They are unwavering in their life. If you answer wrong, there is no second chance, and they smile because they enjoy the hunt. They, like most cats, will prolong and play with their food, because it is part of their nature. Of course a few of the sphinxes are psychotic. But they still have to follow the rules. They still have to warn. They can still only kill the querent if he answers wrong. But their riddles... well.. their riddles follow the psychotic ramblings of their own mind.

So I guess they reflect a lot about myself. (creep you out yet)? I am super straight forward. I always say things exactly as they are and often people don't believe me or think I am exaggerating or want to think I am 'being a girl'. Or some sort. But I'm not. I say something does or doesn't bother me that's how it is. The best way to get me pissed off is to lie to me or to hurt my friends. And I'm not forgiving if you transgress in those ways. I am not a violent person, but I will completely shut you off, and I will take the little bit of a filter that I have off of my tongue and flay you with it if you lie to me or if you hurt my friends. It is not okay. It is really hard to piss me off other than that though. I mean I get irritated by things, and annoyed by people but honest anger? It's just those two triggers. It's like the sphinxes. I have these set rules and I tell people about them, but then they lie to me and don't understand that I will go a little crazy and will have a hard time trusting them again. All I really ask for is the truth. And in terms of the masks, I think we all see people as we choose to. We make these masks over their true self because we can only know what they show us. And we interpret what they show us based on our own life experiences. And ever so often those masks break because we don't all have the same life experiences and we flash to a glimpse of the truth underneath that is sometimes so alien to our own upbringing that we can't understand how we never saw them as this masked person we have made up in the first place.

And I had never written down/really analyzed my sphinxes before. So I learned a lot about them and about myself *grinz*
And this is why you never see my sphinxes smile. Because then the
perception filter breaks and you see behind the mask your mind made.

Art and Character © Laura Garabedian
Just keeps on going...

The update for my personal info is this paragraph for those of you that read the crap of September.
Well apparently my parents are done.  They aren't going to try.  Which hurts... but they have to do what they have to do.  At least they stopped calling and bitching to me.  Which I appreciate, that is not a spot I want to be in.
The better news is that Todd decided he'd rather be with me than have kids *d'aww*  but we are probably going to have to be in Texas for a while.  And honestly we aren't back to 'right' yet, but we are going to try.   Part of the problem is apparently he doesn't like our current home so he is going to buy a house in Dallas, and since he knows how much I despise Texas I will just plan on traveling a lot in the summer.  And so I am looking at getting a camper, and will visit a lot of friends and family over the summer.  Hopefully combined with con trips so it is all businessy.
My aunt is still sick. She wouldn't see my dad when he went to visit, because she doesn't want anyone to see her that ill *rolls eyes*.  He flew out to PA to see her and she wouldn't see him.  Oh, well.

IN OTHER NEWS
Been painting a ton of masked sphinxes.  Which I really enjoy.
The button maker is not working right.  Gonna try one more time but ARG nothing is lining up right!!! The backs are all setting crooked and the manufacturer is being no help.
Stickers are FAB - now I have stickers of my tree critters and my tribalish critters, fun stuff.
Got a call from my mom the other day that apparently her horse got into the outdoor area where my parrot lived.  Lived as she knocked over his cage and he flew away.  She has been leaving food out and the area open, but no sight or sound (most telling) of him.  He was such a sweet bird.   LOUD. But sweet. I am really going to miss him.  This is particularly hard for me as the month before I was trying to figure out how/when to bring him to my house. I put it off because I didn't want to have to see my parent's.  Shoulda Coulda Woulda but I am too late.

May 2016

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