(crossposted to tumblr)

I think the past year of my life has been one of the busiest that I've ever had. For those of you that have been keeping up, skip the next paragraph, for those that want a recap, feel free to check it out.

Mar- africa prep and kickstarter
April - Africa and Spectrum prep - begin pro dog training with duch
May - Spectrum and in a Wedding and start house hunting with Stu - continue pro dog training with duch
June - Prepping for SDCC and research pottery studio and still house hunting - continue pro dog training with duch
July - SDCC - offer accepted on house, 1 month trial at pottery studio - first friday with studio - continue pro dog training with duch
Aug - RMFC, start moving in with Stu - start working at studio - first friday with studio - continue pro dog training with duch
Sept - IlluxCon prep - Visit MN - finish moving in with Stu but only sort of because then in Oct... - continue pro dog training with duch
Oct - move into (basement) of house, and CPFC - begin "The Great Sanding of the Floors" which started as a 2-4 week job and stretched into Dec... (spoilers) -  IlluxCon - rehome Duch
Nov - Sanding forever, hardly any work, at least set up a desk for me though then family in town. Trip to MN during MFF - TFF Prep
Dec - Still sanding - back a mess - can hardly work - FC Prep - TFF Prep - Christmas sale with the studio
Jan  - MOVED UPSTAIRS - also FC - TFF Prep (goes on forever when you are both a guest and neurotic) - transfer collab kickstarter sketch
Feb - TFF prep - unpacking - trying to figure out where things live - TFF prep - finally feeling like I'm getting a handle on commissions again - craigslisting for house stuff - start painting collab kickstarter sketch
Mar - TFF FINALLY WOO! IT WAS AWESOME - short family visit - Start trip to MN - more craisgslisting/shopping for house stuff we didn't know we needed - researc and order chicken coop and chickens and get the license for them - painting collab kickstarter
Apr - finish trip to MN - mom in town, stu's fam in town, short recoup - finish collab kickstarter

In a couple days my dad and brother and their other halves come in town. But at least I'm finally starting to feel like this is my home. I started my seed babies this spring and set out the tomato seed babies last friday (where they were promptly hailed on) *shakes fist* and seeds are in the ground. Runner beans, garbanzo beans, lettuce mixes, fava beans, snap peas and sugar peas have stuck their little heads up. While my mom was in town we pulled the slide off the terrible busted old swing set in the back yard and repainted the metal frame (previously faded/rusting blue and yellow) to 'hammered copper' which looks really cool, and then I found an awesome rustic porch swing on cragslist and we hung it there. We also planted MANY things, including a pear tree, rhubarb, a raspberry plant and a ton of flowers, which are doing pretty well. I've got a lot of seeds in the ground, so told stu that I'm making us food, just very slowly. Which entertained him. we have two 5'x20' plots and one 7'x14' plot, plus a potato trench and another small area we are going to put sweet potatoes in. If even half of the crops come in its still gonna be 3x as much as I ever grew in the past. Which is exciting. We are planning on getting a drop freezer, hopefully sometime soon, at least by the end of the summer. We want to get a membership to a CSA preferably a meat one, and just use the farmers market until then for veg as we can, and have been very very busy still, but at least it is settling down. I've started doing some amazon reviews, I don't imagine I'll get as far into it as some friends, but it has certainly been interesting.

Through all of this I have been doing a lot at the ceramics studio as well as trying to keep up with commisison/con homework. I work at the studio 1x a week, plus I am slowly taking over their social media and design work, I've been loving being there and the environment and the fact that it is slowly taking the place of a lot of the commissioned work I was doing. I think as I get more efficient with this and get more time back I will be able to pull back from doing commissions unless they really appeal to me and work on really developing my own personal work, get more done with my various IPs, including Playing Cards, Broken Worlds, SkulKlan and a not yet discussable project. I hope this is true and really think it is. So fingers crossed in that regards.

Anyhow, I finally feel like I'm getting back on my feet, getting into the grove of things. Developing a rhthym and feel in my home, and it is definitely my home now. I don't think a day goes past that I don't just feel incredibly lucky to be here. I'm so happy with Stu, and we are getting in chickens, and I have the start to a great garden and our neighbors are lovely and it's finally starting to smooth out. There is a lot to do here, but also a lot that already makes it feel so happy and welcoming. I look forward to doing more art, to having people over, and to actually having a life again. It's pretty amazing and I'm so happy. So anyhow, yeah, I was regretting that LJ hasn't been active much, but I think most of us tweet and snapchat and everything but I like everyone's random LIFE UPDATE stuff so figured I'd contribute. I love you all. And Yay! Life may start slowing down!

I close with a picture of our living room, which I adore, with the buffet I craigslisted, art by Vantid on it (needs to be matted and hung still) mask my Missmonster on the wall, fossils, rocks,  and claywork of my own on the hearth, a gifted painting from Michael Mentler on the hearth, a gifted plant from Tasha in the 'fireplace' (it needs to be fixed) yarn under the buffet, a happy muppet on our recent rug splurge and general happiness abounding. <3
Finding myself in the unfortunate position of having overbooked my fall. Luckily not in regards to paid work with deadlines, but in regards to personal projects, and the portfolio work I had hoped to finish by IlluxCon. The house closing and repairs before we can move in are taking up more time than initially calculated (which is how houses always go as I understand it). Just feeling a bit overwhelmed and disappointed in myself that I won't have much new to show since Spectrum, I have to remind myself that I worked SDCC for the first time this year, and started a ceramics business too, but that doesn't stop me looking at the fact that I thought I'd have at least a couple new pieces for IX and being pretty sad about it. I am gonna make my reward/incentive for these past two crazy months be a big piece to do for an art book I was invited to be a part of. Oh, and my work for TFF, which I am SO excited about. I also have some awesome commissions in queue that I am starting but I am struggling to find time for it all with this house/moving/everything going on. We are refinishing floors today/tomorrow. I work tommorrow night, then we pack like mad. Moving date was supposed to be Sat, but the floors will still be curing, so now its Monday. Then Stu leaves Thursday early morning for a wedding, comes back Monday, and I leave Tuesday for IlluxCon... so yeah... thats a thing... Looking forward to Nov. B/c apparently we won't really be doing much unpacking until then, b/c we won't both be home until then :/


Nov. 18th, 2014 04:27 pm
Just an update to say, in spite of finances, in spite of a few other things. Right now? Right now, life is good. I'm busy. I have personal projects that are being re-vamped. I have a wonderful man in my life. I have sun on snow, and time with friends. I'm working on my SkulKlan graphic novel. On my Broken Worlds work. On portfolio stuff for Spectrum.

My family is coming over this Friday, and they'll be around for the weekend (in the case of my dad) and almost a full week, in the case of my brother and his girlfriend. I look forward to seeing all of them. And to hosting friendsgiving. And generally looking forward to this week.

I'm happy. I hope you are all having a lovely fall as well.
Wow, have I not been journalling.

Mostly because from April-August I didn't have a free weekend. Not one. Not a single one. The weekends between my being out of town and people visiting, and my going to cons, or weddings, or hosting people were filled with trying to see my friends who are local, and gosh was I busy.  Since I last journalled I've done the following

* Watched a friends house/critters in Fort Collins,
* Watched a friends house/critters in MN
* Hosted my mom for her first visit to Colorado (to visit me, we used to live here when I was a kid)
* Hosted a friend for a couple days for their visit to Colorado
* Hosted another friend for their first visit to CO (ever)
* Went to Spectrum with Amber and Eric and had a lovely time
* Went to my first SCA outdoor event (just for a day, with a friend who is very active)
* Saw Lindsey Stirling live!
* Went on dates with a few people, some of whom dropped off the face of the earth, some of whom just didn't work out. Nothing ever got serious
* Attended Denver Comic-Con for the first time
* Had more vet appointments than normal because my dog is getting older and it makes me sad
* Struggled with a little situational depression
* Had a jury summons, then wasn't needed for it
* Helped Dave host a concert and Solstice Party
* Road tripped around with FoxAmoore before
* Attended AnthroCon
* Road tripped over to Philly to see family
* Went to Mexico with my brother, his girlfriend, my dad and his girlfriend
* Went to various and sundry Denver Illustrator's Salon events
* Attended an amazing wedding of some of my dearest friends
* Vended at Rocky Mountain Furcon
* Hosted a Making Things afternoon at my place with a few friends
* Hosted some more friends who were new to CO
* And then did that again
* Somewhere during all of that went to the Great Sand Dunes and Bishops Castle...
* Started painting a ton of gryphons - this rolled into September...

And then suddenly it's September. And for those of you that don't know, September is kind of a notoriously poor month for me. Things go badly for me in September. Generally more on the personal range than the professional, but things... go badly. This year was super roller coaster month for me. I started it out by managing to shove my foot super far down my throat with a friend, luckily she understood where I was coming from, but I did hurt her feelings initially. I splurged and attended Cavalia with my roommate, which was amazing, and gorgeous, and fantastic. Attended RainFurrest, which is always a con full of great fun for me. Then RainFurrest didn't do as well as it normally does for me. I did a lot of hiking with a dear friend. I got a weird health thing that took a while to get over. My dog had a health issue come up that requires more attention to her diet and more vet visits. I destroyed a lot of clothes due to some laundry shenanigans, so ended up having to buy some 'new' clothes from the thrift store recently. Started a new Pathfinder game, which is an absolute blast. Two sessions in my character is nearly dead and there is a good chance she'll be dead forever... we'll see... My newish phone got smashed by a car, during an epic bike ride which was super fun/stupid in its lost-ness. It was cheaper to use my mom's upgrade, so instead I did that. And now hate this phone so will probably be selling it to get my old phone repaired. Started dating one of my best friends, and so far it is bringing me great joy. I think the joy carried far enough that September reached out into the start of Oct, because this weekend just went sideways. I had planned to do a lot of things, involving an evening with one friend, southern cooking and adventuring with the guy I'm seeing, and possibly dinner with out of town friends. Things got sideways so the adventuring got cancelled, some drama happened, and then I blew out a tire yesterday among other problems, there is a bit of damage to the front end from walloping a curb too after the blow out. After a trip to the shop I learned that the tire WAS still under warantee so MUCH less than expected for that, but now I'd love to get the front end fixed if at all possible.

So yeah. Been busy. For those of you wondering where I've been... its been crazy. So today I'll go get that new tire (btw the one that blew? One of the new ones that I got put on in July), put up a sale on FA/tumblr for some monochrome headshots, and try and get my old phone fixed. Because screw Samsung, I know its the Galaxy 5, I know everyone ELSE loves it, screw it, I'm a Nexus user forever. *coughs* sorry, I get mad at technology being stubborn/not being what I expect.
So... I just started with a new D&D campaign. My first time at D&D but not at tabletop rpg's so went in and it wasn't as role-play heavy as I was used to. So I did a write-up on Qamar (my raven/black throated magpie jay hybrid) and her reaction to this whole, yes, lets go in the hole and the ground and explore, idea that the company had.  It entertained me, so I thought it may entertain others. Or ya'know, I should at least put it somewhere for posterity.

Feels a bit gratuitous, but I like her and my little story )

2013 meme

Jan. 4th, 2014 12:40 pm
b/c why not

Meme! )
Oh hai there new year! I was pretty MIA for the past two months because my schedule was packed ridiculously full.  I spent about a month and a half laying out my new art book (Yay!!) that should release at FC this year.  It took Waaaaay longer than it should have because, a) I hadn't used InDesign in years and was rusty b) I hadn't done Layout in years and was rusty and c) I waited to ask for help for far too bloody long.  So then we had to fix a lot of things that I didn't think about/remember/realize there were better ways to do things. Luckily I have KIND Art Director and Designer friends who were willing to help me and now the book looks pretty damn sharp if I do say so myself.  At least it does all laid out and on paper... we'll see what happens when it prints *fingers crossed* As that started wrapping up I had three 12x16 pieces that I needed to get finished up (secretly) for Christmas, so hauled ass getting those done. I got them to the commissioner the night of Christmas Eve, and then Christmas night I flew down to Texas for a week with the family.  It's been lovely, but crazy busy, and gosh am I ready to get back home and just do some art for a while. Granted I still have some looming deadlines that are making me itchy to get painting now, but it shouldn't be as bad as the past two months.

I hope you all had some lovely holidays and have an amazing new year!


Nov. 19th, 2013 12:57 pm
So I got an IUD put in yesterday.
Two words. OW! and GRATEFUL!

"Ow" because, yeah. Ow... painful process to get the sucker put in, dunno how long it actually lasted, felt like around 5 minutes, but think it wasn't nearly that long.  Made my uterus turn into some nasty alien scraping and scrambling at my pelvis for a few hours, and made my joints achy and terrible, and my back all tight and spasm-y, but that's mostly settled down today.  Just achy back and cramps today. So... hopefully will all be uphill from here!

"Grateful" for two reasons, one, for the Arch Foundation for making it affordable for people on low income like myself. And two, and most importantly for my two dear friends who came with me to hold my hands and keep me from totally freaking myself out.  Feel free to identify yourself if you like, didn't know if you wanted to be called out. But gosh I'm thankful to you both. For being there for me for hand holding. For bringing of food, for driving, for everything. It made me feel like it was all going to be okay. That I had support if something went wrong. That I wasn't alone. Which is terribly terribly important. So thank you so much. You know who you are, and know that you made what could have been a sad, painful day feeling sorry for myself into a wonderful day in spite of 5 minutes of horrid pain and a few hours of extreme discomfort and pretty strong pain.

And all my friends out there on the internet. Thank you all for being my friends. I appreciate you all.

Hehehe, also realized that this is possibly a TMI and its Tuesday. So its the right day for that according to the internet.

Dat Meme

Nov. 11th, 2013 06:12 pm
Stolen from [livejournal.com profile] kazeno_taka corvus_animus who stole it from charreed and nambroth so fine I'll do it too :|

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

3. Have you taken someones virginity?
Taken? Really? It's not a thing you take.

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
One of them >< I have a few people I like right now... and very few of them are likely to come to any sort of fruition (for lack of a better word)

6. What are you excited for?

7. What happened tonight?
Art book layout while Doctor Who was on.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
I agree with Jenn - why does it matter if it's a girl?  I personally find it hilarious when people get drunk, as long as they're not spewing body fluids or being an asshole.

9. Is confidence cute?
Confidence is amazing.  Puppies are cute. (stolen wholesale from Brenda)

10. What is the last beverage you had?
Fizzy Water

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
ummm... one second, Wow, after counting, more than ten. huh, think its like 13. Wow. That was unexpected.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
yep, two as a matter of fact. Perfect for cons/dress nights out/wearing with BOOTS! I <3 my big stompy boots.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
Layout book. Sort studio. Forever I think...

14. What are you going to spend money on next?
ummm groceries probably?

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
almost certainly in minor ways, in major ways? Doubtful, but possible

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
Various friends, they know who they are! (stealing from Brenda again)

18. The last time you felt broken?
most of this week... its been downright awful unfortunately.

19. Have you had sex today?
No *sighs*

20. Are you starting to realize anything?
? About what? Life, the Universe, and Everything? I dunno man? I don't get this question.

21. Are you in a good mood?
meh, not bad

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
nurse sharks, sure, or non-violent sharks, but big proper sharks... dunno?

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
slightly more hazel/gold but mostly the same brown

24. What do you want right this second?
More time in a day O.o

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
I'd be pissed... dunno what I'd say? Goodbye maybe?

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
Partly, with carmelly/blond highlights.

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
umm doubt it?

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
My friends string of comments that said this
"wtf gtfo"
"The shock has loosened my vowels"

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
yep, quite a few people actually

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
some people yes... others not so much

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
NO! My roommate is awesome.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
umm one of them does, the other... dunno?

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
pretty much yeah. I'll periodically grab a sip and immediately regret it *gross* used to love them though

34. Listening to?
Doctor Who!

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
yep! I prefer writing in traditional media

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
probably at home? no idea, its my ex?

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

38. Who did you last call?
a friend about a billing miscommunication

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
Because we were dating at the time?

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
don't know. And that makes me sad

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
they live 12 hours away by car... so no...

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
All the time. I embarrass myself on a regular basis in front of plenty of people

44. Do you tan in the nude?
Sort of?  I used to lay out on my parents deck occasionally... I am solar powered. It recharges me to lay in the sun for 10-15 min, so if I have the space to do it  (and privacy) I'll take advantage of it.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

47. Who was the last person to call you?

48. Do you sing in the shower?
Yep, often.

49. Do you dance in the car?
All the bloody time

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
either for my license or in college by a friend who was a photographer

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
they are good and fun, but yes, often also cheesy

53. Is Christmas stressful?
has been since my parents split

54. Ever eat a pierogi?
yeppers but not often

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
strawberry rhubarb!

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
artist or vet

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
yep, though no personal experience

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

59. Take a vitamin daily?

60. Wear slippers?
yes. I am cold all the time forever. Especially my feet and fingers. Unfortunately they are slipper and thus I've also fallen down the stairs in them.

61. Wear a bath robe?

62. What do you wear to bed?
pjs and a shirt, or just a shirt and undies...

63. First concert?
Edgefest I think? Or Fair to Midland?

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target - not that I go to any of them with any type of regularity and despise wal-mart

65. Nike or Adidas?
whatever fits

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
Cheeto Poofs!

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
eh... probably sunflowers, in the car, to keep me awake... don't eat either other than that.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
no idea? So lets go with favorite MUSE song because I love MUSE... Oh wait, I can't pick...

69. Ever take dance lessons?
yep, greek, irish, ballet as a kindergartener, and swing

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
whatever makes him happy

71. Can you curl your tongue?

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
nope. good at spelling but never won

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
don't think so

74. What is your favorite book?
urrrrrr... too many favorites. Ummm a list! Anything by Mercedes Lackey or Brom or Neil Gaiman or Patricia McKillip or James Gurney or... maybe I should stop now?

75. Do you study better with or without music?
with. If I'm writing it has to not have English lyrics, other than that words are fine

76. Regularly burn incense?

77. Ever been in love?
yes indeed

78. Who would you like to see in concert?
MUSE again and always. Blue October. A Fine Frenzy. Garfunkel and Oates.

79. What was the last concert you saw?
Paul and Storm last night because Dave's friend bailed on him

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

81. Tea or coffee?
TEA! Although a perfectly balanced cappuccino is lovely

82. Favorite type of cookie?
snickerdoodle? Or pumpkin chocolate chip

83. Can you swim well?
yes indeed

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

85. Are you patient?
to a certain extent... but when that goes it goes fast

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
depends? No idea really

87. Ever won a contest?

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

89. Which are better black or green olives?
black - kalamata are awesome

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
do what you want. Your sex life is your own. As long as it is safe and consensual I don't care.

91. Best room for a fireplace?
Bedroom? Living Room? Bathroom? I dunno, I like them always

92. Do you want to get married?
So trying to do both my RF and my AFC write-ups in this post, because I hadn't gotten to RF yet.

Rainfurrest continues to be one of my favorite conventions.  Its just the right size, the people are fantastic, and the food is always stellar (okay, okay maybe thats just that Seattle has good food and I've found some real gems but FOOD man.  That stuff is important.)  So this year I flew in on Thursday, and the wonderful, noble, heroic, Davecko *grinz* helped me haul my luggage from the airport to the hotel... I'm stubborn and probably would have tried to haul it all over there myself otherwise, which probably wouldn't have ended terribly well ><. I need to learn from this, and know that if someone can't help me next year, I need to call a cab. After weighing all my luggage I realize that it outstrips my own weight by, well, quite a bit.  In any case, he helped me get my luggage over to the con, I setup, and then went to dinner with that awesome fellow and his friends, and I am in fact AWFUL with names... so... I'm sorry for not calling you all out individually *sorrrrry*. (Also, I got furry and real names and that just means I am twice as likely to forget)

Con went great for the next few days, pretty productive and I limited my commissions so ended up being able to do a good amount of socializing every evening, which was lovely!  Hung out with the ever awesome, Kit, Kyell, Kenket, Teagan, FoxAmoore, Vantid, Xyk, Davecko, Jack, Path, and more... again, horrid with remembering names so if I forgot yours, my most sincere apologies, you know you are loved, and appreciated, and that my mental filing system is just horrid.
After the Con I spent a couple days just outside of Seattle proper with a friend who I hadn't seen in a few years, which was lovely. Had the best sushi I've had in my life, saw harbor seals, and sea lions, and wandered about Seattle a bit, but mostly hung out with her, (introduced her to Doctor Who, because thats what I do) and caught up on all of our crazy life gossip.

Then I came home for 2 days, and my dad got into town, so I promptly went up to Frisco with him and his girlfriend. Unfortunately, due to Frontier Airlines horrid screwups, he got here 8 hours late, so I only got 2 days with him, but we had a lovely time.  Did a few light hikes, wandered around cute little mountain towns, and generally enjoyed each others company.

Two days after that I started my road trip to AFC with my dear friend Liz.  First day was just a pounding of road beneath our wheels. Fourteen hours of driving later (all me, she doesn't drive stick) we hit the hotel, punch drunk and still silly happy with each other.  Met with the guest liaison Arielle (who is a wonderful human being and was terribly helpful all weekend), got shown our room and around the hotel, setup in the dealers room and then settled in for what was to be a gorgeous weekend.  The weather was a bit hot for my tastes, but then I'm spoiled by Colorado.  The view was exquisite though, looking out over a golf course with the mountains behind that and the huge dark desert sky above us.  This con is the first (to my knowledge) to give dealers a lunch break, which just made it that much more awesome in my book. The fact that we, as dealers and guests, could retreat for an hour or two to our rooms. Collect our thoughts, and recharge afternoon was invaluable. I absolutely loved that!
I continued my tradition from Rainfurrest and strictly limited conventions to allow for socialization, and it worked out so well. I actually had a chance to enjoy my evenings with my friends.  Hung out with such wonderful people as Myenia, Rukis, Liz, Fuzzwolf, Teiran, and more.

On our way back we didn't do the crazy long haul of the first trip.  Stopped for a picnic lunch detour at an offshoot of the Grand Canyon (didn't got to the Canyon proper, b/c it was quite a bit further, but even our little offshoot was glorious).  We had gotten a rather late start, but made it to Moab by evening, where we found a place to pitch a tent (ended up in an RV park which isn't as nice as proper campgrounds but DID have a hot tub, so bonus points).  The next morning we had adventures in Arches National Park.  We were up and out by 8 and got to Arches by 9:30 or so and it was everything I could have wished for.  Liz and I both hoped to go there to get a good solid center spiritually (yes, sounds flaky but having that quiet outdoor time is important to both of us, and our lives have been pretty tumultuous recently so it was soothing to our souls to just sit and enjoy that exquisite piece of nature).  Luckily the day before our arrival Utah opened its national parks with state funds, so we were able to make it in, and there were hardly any people there. Only about 12 of us or so at Delicate Arch, and we had lots of time to just sit quietly, to enjoy, to take it all in.  We picnicked at the 'Windows' area, and then started our stuttered trip back home.  That night was spent with Liz's family in Grand Junction, and the next morning puttered our way from a diner, to a winery, through Georgetown to one of our favorite restaurants in Colorado, then back home.

So I've been home for a couple days now and am about to leave again (Wednesday) for another week.  I'll sure be glad to be home for a while after this next trip, and am hoping I will be, but I just got news that my grandmother is in rather poor health, so I may be making a trip to Philly to see her. *urf*

I have a whole 'nother post I want to write later about centering and such but thats for later, I think this is more than enough for now.
For no reason other than a brief glimpse of a piece of art (that I can't find) inspired me to a brief look into another world, where this was happening. And then the door shut... I don't know what else happens, but I thought it was interesting enough to write down...

She saw the bird fall. A limp gray rag, tumbling from the sky. The rain making colors smear into gray and shapes lose their edges in the blur of water drops. Tears streamed down her young face as she whispered to herself, small prayers of well wishing, the murmering of sorrows to the sky. She knew about death. She knew the family needed to eat. But every life tore a bit at her fragile soul, ripping through the cobwebs of her heart.

The cornfield was a salt-less sea, and she stood, swaying, at its prow. Silent vigil, a small stone mourner of the death that had blown by. Her mind bent under the pressure of the small feathered form lying heavy on the ground. Heavy in her heart. The mud splattered feathers, the tiny crater in the mud caused by the plummeting body leaving its last impression on the earth.
It's odd. I wrote this huge long post and couldn't put it up. Because of this odd body shaming that I've had happen. I'm in this strange paradox right now, where I feel pretty confident about how I look (in general) but also have these huge shame issues attached to my body in certain regards, and when I've mentioned them I've been shot down as 'not knowing how bad people with real body issues have it'. So... I don't know. Strange uncomfortable feelings about blogging about them. So instead I'm just gonna say, guys. Don't make fun of people or say their body image issues aren't real or aren't good enough because other peoples are worse. Then it just makes them not want to talk about it at all. *cough* yeah.. so things.  And no it hasn't really been the LJ community, you peeps on my friendslist, so don't worry about that... not trying to put any of you down, just kind of sending a reminder out to the world at large through the crazy-vibes of the internets...

So... the next four months are gonna be flat out crazy.
Gone Thurs-Wed for Rainfurrest and spend an extra 2 days there to see a friend.
Dad arrives Fri with his GF and we go out to Silverthorne for 3 days
Leaves Monday
I leave Thursday morning for ArizonaFurCon
Back Wednesday
Spend a WEEK at home thank goodness
Leave for a week

So... yeah... dunno how much I'll be around here.
Also, yay fall! 
I appreciate you all. I love you all, for following me, for supporting me, for commenting, for generally just being there. So hey there internet would you be interested in random things?  I kept meaning to post this and then, well, life, it gets in the way, also, this started going around right before I left for Greece so I was CRAZYFACE busy...  Quoting Nam here, because to lazy to turn it into my own post and it completely describes me and why I appreciate you all and, well, everything...

"Hello everyone. I appreciate you. I notice you and think you are cool. I cannot possibly show this to each of you the way I want to, but perhaps from time to time I can show some of you, as I'm able.
Maybe I see you are having a hard time, and a tiny bit of cheer in the mail will help a little bit.
Maybe I see you have done something that touches my heart and I want to show you that I appreciated that.
Maybe I'm just random as hell.

With all that said, anyone that might like a random little treat in the mail from time to time, please leave your complete mailing address in a comment below. Comments are screened. If you do not want to leave it below, feel free to comment saying "I will email you my address" and then feel free to do so (please, just do comment, so I have a record of it in one place).
Randomly, when I am able, I will send tiny treats in the mail. Maybe only one person per month or one every few months. It could be art, jewelry, a simple letter, a postcard of my chickens, a little print... just simple little things to brighten your day.

I cannot promise anything, as sometimes I find myself running on financial fumes.
I cannot promise when or if this will happen.
I cannot promise you will love what I send (but I won't send junk).
Please understand that items sent internationally will be, by necessity, small and light. International shipping is scary expensive now.
Please, if you sign up and don't get anything for a while, don't be upset. It does not indicate how much I like you. It doesn't mean I ignore you. I just am limited in my resources at times.
Please do not feel greedy or guilty for signing up. I do not see it as a 'grab for stuff'! This is meant to just be... cheerful. No strings, no worries.

Feel free to post a similar thing in your journal!"
I got my first solid nights sleep in... well... in as long as I can remember, last night.  The day was pretty wasted as far as work goes, but fantastic in terms of getting me back to feeling a bit better.

My car is feeling better! Woot! And the check engine light turned off! Thank everything for that. Ran errands most of the day then grabbed my awesome friend Liz for a celebration of friendship and an awesome girls night out.   For her birthday I got her tickets for MUSE. So we took the train in to Denver, ate at La Grande Bistro and Oyster bar, which was amazing, and then on to the show. Cage the Elephant opened, and the singer was hilarious. A very fit topless guy in white bellbottoms who strutted happily around stage like a very cocky rooster.  He was so much fun to watch. The band was pretty good but then MUSE... I can't help it, the moment they start I get this huge smile that doesn't go away for the whole show.  I had some trepidation a few times that maybe I shouldn't spend the money but it all melted away with those first notes. It is just pure visual and audio joy. Their shows are so spectacular and beautiful. Liz had never seen them before and loved them just as much as I'd hope she would and we were both just buzzed. Danced, sang, enjoyed. Took the train home on a happy music high, and then slept. Man did I sleep. I slept for a good 8 hours and from the moment I passed out until my alarm I didn't wake up once. That is nothing short of a miracle. Clearly I need to see MUSE more often :)

And boring food diary (though tbh dinner wasn't boring at all)
breakfast : grapes and cheese
lunch : gf pizza! with pepperoni and mushrooms from the place on Tims campus
dinner : gf bread with butter, ricotta stuffed fried squash blossoms, gin marinated salmon with capers, onions, and egg, steak tartare, and a drink with ginger syrup, rosewater, whiskey and thyme.
So yesterday I was still SO caught up in the awesome that was making things, I may have spent the majority of my day painting my MissMonster masks instead of commission work. On one hand, BAD LAURA, on the other hand, I really need to get one done to sell so I can keep buying her work (hahaha, that is how I justify buying them, I buy 2... one to sell) *cough* anyhow.  I'm really pleased with them so far. Though I did have the sad realization that I totally forgot that I needed moonstone, labradorite and something gold (was going to look at tigers eye and amber) small stones for them for inset purposes (They are this style) and I should have picked them up at the mineral show where they would have been like half as expensive as ordering them online (if my deals on everything else are to be believed). So blast, will end up spending more, but oh well, water, right under the bridge. Which, is better than over the bridge, or taking out a bridge or... sorry the flooding is on my mind right now. *cough* sorry... tangenty Laura is tangental.  Anyhow the masks are a fire and ice theme. One is all blues and whites with aqua tinges, the other is reds golds and blacks. And I'm excited about them :)

I did get my MAS cleaned and the air-filter finally dried and my car seems to be running better now! I hope that this is true today too, and not just a fluke for yesterday, but I was so happy! Hooray for an $8 and lots of time fix rather than a huge mess with all of the money.

And in the evening I ended up having a glorious sushi dinner with some friends. So that was amazing. Finally found a sushi restaurant that counts as a fave here in CO.  Hadn't had a ton of luck yet. Granted its nowhere near me, but it is near Zhon so thats pretty awesome, since she's a sushi nut too.

The boring bit that you guys can probably skip
What I ate...
Breakfast cheese omelette with harissa and salt (that I couldn't keep down) :/
Lunch Leftover Pad Thai
Dinner Sushi - salmon and spicy tuna and all sorts of things :/ don't remember and tried other peoples and Hot Sake
Because why not have a subject that is longer than it has any right to be?

Life events!!!

So my car, whose name is CARDIS, because of reasons*, had a couple moments in the past couple weeks where it would randomly 'hiccup'. I.e. Skip a cylinder when accelerating, I assumed the grounds were getting corroded again, it happened shortly after I got the car, took FOREVER to diagnose, but once I did was a relatively simple fix.  Only happened twice, a pretty far apart so I figured I had time to talk to my mechanically inclined friend.

Meanwhile.... HOUSESAT!
Was up in Fort Collins for almost a week, housesitting for the awesome [livejournal.com profile] idess where I hung out with her pups (and my pup) did lots of art on her couch, and cuddled chickens. That was pretty cool. I wasn't used to living without A/C so that was a bit of adventure, but I had a blast, and so did my pup.

Then I came home to THE RAIN
The rain, and the flood and the water forever.  Now, take into account that we live in a floodplain... Colorado doesn't get a ton of rain often but when it has one of those 100 year floods... well... its been pretty terrible here for people.  I've been terribly lucky, in that we weren't flooded out. The basement is fine, the new trees are fine, the veg garden is FLAT and pretty shot now, but overall... we're all right.  However during this nonsense, apparently it rained hard enough that it soaked my air filter... which shot dirty water up into my MAS when I went to drive my poor car and it misfired a LOT the next time I went to drive it and now is registering temperature sensor problems and not accelerating at all. :( So now I am carless, which sucks because I have a couple of car intensive errands I am supposed to run tomorrow. Cleaning and drying everything but my silly air filter just isn't drying because its been so humid here (which is bizarre, humidity in CO?? What??) Oh, yeah, and it hailed and now I have little paint dings in my car. Which makes me sads.

And then there were ROCKS!
I had planned on going to a fossil/gem/mineral show with a good friend Sunday and when my car zonked out I got super upset thinking I wouldn't be able to go. But luckily my boyfriend was able to drop me off and my friend drove me home. Man, we had a blast. I spent a bit too much money but now have some great focal pieces/things to play with for wire wrapping so I can put together some necklaces (some of which hopefully I'll sell) but among the treasure I found were some beautiful blue opal pieces, a small jar of mexican opal, fire agate, red tigers eye beads, ammonites, a chunk of petrified wood, and fossilized walrus teeth.  We were supposed to be home by 1 and got so distracted by all of the awesome that was around us we barely made it home by 2 whereupon people started showing up for

I host little or large making things events periodically and they are always varying sizes. I decided to host another one this past Sunday, but it was super small because I didn't feel like cleaning the whole house, putting out enough tables etc. And it ended up even smaller because (due to the rain/flooding) a couple of those few couldn't make it. But it was a blast. Zhon and I sorted our firey opally treasures, I painted some Exploding Van Gogh TARDIS shoes for a friend who paid me in sneakers to paint for myself. And then worked on two of my MissMonster masks and some wire-wrapping.  Some of the cool things that were being worked on at this get together were - crocheting/knitting, costume making (and costume repairing), coding for uploading to art sites, sculpting, and general cookery and silliness.  The food was pretty epic this time, I made a batch of chili from scratch, gluten-free cornbread was made by one friend, and another brought delicious pumpkin cheesecake that he made. NOM!

So now I am going to try and fix my bloody car before tomorrow so I can make it to see MUSE!!!!! (If not, I'll figure something out, but I'd like to have my car so I can continue initial plans).  I got tickets for them to see with a friend for her birthday, I'd rather not have to make her b'day plans stressful.

You'll probably be hearing a bit more from me for a while internet, even if its just food diary-ish stuff, because I think its a good idea to keep a food diary for reasons outlined below. But I'll try and do interesting stuff too.

So I'll end with the boring/gross stuff, skip this paragraph if you don't want boring gross food drama - I really need to start making note of what I eat everyday, and see if there is something that is tricking my poor tummy out.  I've never been one to have a super unsettled stomach and three times in the past three months I've thrown up right as I take that last bite of my breakfast. First time it was right after a lot of travel and pills got taken at wrong times and I thought I was reacting poorly to that. Second time it was after a night where I drank a bit more than usual but didn't feel like it was enough to throw up but that last bite of breakfast and my stomach revolted. And today... today nothing has been abnormal, that I can think of. Pills on time, no drinking in last three days, and still. Last bite of breakfast and stomach is done. Not even a moment of nauseau, just a sudden, message from my stomach of "Oh hey, get to a toilet NOW you have less than three minutes". So, I need to food  diary this nonsense. So what I can remember from yesterday is as follows - Breakfast : Eggs over easy and bacon, Lunch: Leftover Pot Roast, Snacks: bit of veg, fruit (grapes), and cheese, Dinner: Homemade chili with roasted green chilies and gf cornbread, and pumpkin cheesecake for dessert (did have a wheat crust but I hardly had any of it)

*CARDIS is thusly named because it is a) Bigger on the inside b) makes all sorts of noises other cars don't because of its exhaust (not because I leave the brakes on) c) was initally pretty twitchy/hard for me to drive because I hadn't driven manual in a while.
I feel like there should have been dramatic music and soft pillows for the staggered entrance I made into my home Tuesday night.  The past ten days have been an absolute whirlwind of GOGOGO. And getting back to sleep in my own bed was nothing short of amazing.

So I left for Philadelphia on Saturday afternoon in my little Mazda (his name is CARDIS btw, if you weren't aware), with owlbear as my co-pilot. Because I needed a co-pilot, even if he is really cranky, steals your Thai food, and ate a pigeon once (he's gonna have worms, I just know it). Had to leave in the afternoon instead of morning the day before due to a prior engagement to join in a time-travelers birthday party for a dear friends who was really excited about her party and I helped her with planning a bit, etc etc.  So I had to book it up to Philly.  Luckily in the prior week I managed to get a new stereo put in my car so entertained myself (and annoyed owlbear) with 30 hours of podcasts (mostly nerdist's Sex Nerd Sandra which I adore, sprinkled with Kevin and Ursula Eat Cheap, and a smattering of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere).  Arrived in Philly at my aunts house at 2:30am Monday morning to a welcome sign pointing me to a sofabed - which wasn't the comfiest of places but it worked, it was a flat vaguely padded surface and I crashed out hard.

The next day and a half were spent catching up with my Aunt Pat, who has Parkinsons, which is truly painful to watch, I hate that disease and really wish we could go ahead and find a cure. She was always so athletic and such a go-getter, she is to the point where she will actually let me clean. (This was always a big deal, she never let anyone clean b/c she is so OCD... and now she just can't).  Seeing my grandmother, who is crazy spry and fit and amazing, and I love her dearly.  And my Aunt Katie, who is where I get my artsiness from, and my love of cottage gardens, and the desire to have a house that could be a museum... She makes beautiful art, and jewelry and silk scarves and she would be much less struggly in finances if she would embrace the internet, but it is rather anathema to her, so she goes to her faires, and she works at a frame shop and gardens enthusiastically.

Then driving again... only 5 hours this time, back to Pittsburgh for AnthroCon! I arrived Wednesday night, played 'tag' with Truffke, as we tried to meet and bounced around each other (this was a theme for the entire convention).  Dinner with the awesome Rooth, Kzace, SixthLeafClover, Jeff, and Drasilius, then crashed out.

Rest of con is a bit of a blur of chatting/hanging out with [livejournal.com profile] ursulav [livejournal.com profile] myenia [livejournal.com profile] vantid [livejournal.com profile] kazeno_taka [livejournal.com profile] alchemist [livejournal.com profile] dark_natasha Lizzie-Bean, Heather Bruton, Hanna, Chelsea, Foxfeather, Mbala, Kyell, Kit, Teiran, the SofaWolf Crew and more... highlights including Sushi, getting books signed by Mercedes Lackey and Larry Dixon, chatting with Larry Dixon for quite a while, drinking in the hotel bar with a rotating crowd of friends, and room parties (which I rarely get to go to).

Got a chance to have a nice dinner and an awesome Thai lunch with some artist friends before I pushed off for the drive home, then we had a 25 hour trek back. This time Owl-Bear was unhappy to have to share the passenger seat with Kzace and Rooth.  I think he may have nipped them.  We made it home Wed at 1am and boy am I glad to be home. Picked up my awesome DogDog from the Wonderful [livejournal.com profile] idess who was kind enough to watch her AND groom her while I was gone. And now I am just getting ready for RMFC and trying to get in some time to paint!  Oh, yeah, and fix up the gardens, while I was gone the salvia tried to die, as did my Delphinium, but the veggie garden exploded, so I weeded that yesterday, and am moving on to the rose garden weeds tomorrow. Excited to see that the honeydew and tomatoes look like they will be okay, and the squash are starting to blossom so we should have summer squash soon!

It was a bit of splurge-con for me, as I got myself a few treats: The new Mercedes Lackey book, a piece of art from [livejournal.com profile] kazeno_taka and a crow claw bronze necklace from Skullery... so thats super nice.


Jun. 19th, 2013 10:40 pm
Today was an odd day.  Strange combinations of productivity and sloshy-ness... Bursts of mural work, and house-work and chores. And then an span of 2 hours that I just let myself sit and read.  Let myself enjoy the flow of words and images, of dancing storms, and fluttering canvas in my head.

I have been have twinges, in my chest, and in my wrist all day.. I think it is the anxiety again. I am considering finding a doctor here, but get more anxious when I think about that. Money is tight right now and the dog needs a vet visit first.  But then I have a bit of a respite.  I planted my late started tomato seedlings (first batch died). I took a couple hours to read my book.  I sat and watched the sun set.  And the spans of furious productivity that stretched the rest of the day included moving some random material away from where I spread wildflower seeds. Taking a carload of stuff to goodwill. Last minute (and stressful) shipping from a customer who got back to me after 4 months with a shipping address, making a ton of stock, and then making soup, in the process using every freaking pot in the kitchen.  And now... neck spasms... again... and my wrist is bothering me. So I think a bath is in order.

I feel strangely lyrical this evening. I want to write about doors and corridors, entrances and alleyways... a side path to a land that is half forgotten, mostly shadowed.  There is something tickling the edge of my creativity.  Just nudging... teasing... whispering in the dark, from around a corner.  Always around a corner. And I can't force it into focus.  So, I think, a bath... and maybe that will settle the shaking and chattering in my find.. let me find that hidden path so I can see the shape of the thing in that shadowed alleyway, I don't know if its art, I kind of think it may be writing...

I wonder...
So on Tuesday I leave for Greece. I will arrive on Wednesday... I will arrive on my birthday. I am so INCREDIBLY excited about this trip... Greece has been on my bucket list and the fact that I am able to go... just thrills me to no end.
I wanted to thank everyone who dropped by my drink and draw session, it was a LOT of fun, I may consider making it a monthly thing, because I just really enjoyed it. It brought me so much joy and was fun to talk to you all.
I won't return from my trip until the 24th, and will then leave on the 26th for a wedding, and return from that on the 30th, so expect me to be pretty much gone all of April.  I hope you are all well.

May 2016

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